I Can't Lie

I can't lie. This is not a virtue, but an annoying fact. I often wish I could lie, but I have a vividly mobile face that does not let me get away with eh-nee-thing. I always knew I was deception-challenged, but this reality was driven home to me when I told a tiny fib on Skype. (I started Skyping to get to know our exchange student before she arrives next month. She is awesome and I can't wait to be her host mom, but I'm not going to blog much about her because she might not like it). Here's the scenario:

I was "meeting" Hildy's mom for the first time, and I was terrified. She was trusting me to take care of her teenaged daughter in a foreign land for a whole year, and I wanted to make a good impression. We were talking about chocolate, and I mentioned that Silas liked chocolate. Her mom seemed slightly surprised. I thought, Oh dear! She must think I'm turning my 2-year-old into a sugar junkie, and will be a rotten host mother to her daughter. I added, "Don't worry, I only give him chocolate, and only once in a while", which is mostly true, but not completely. I happened to glance at the tiny box in the corner of my computer screen, which shows me my own face, and I was horrified to see that I had "I'm a big, fat liar" written all over my face. Not "I exaggerate sometimes", but "I'm telling you an awful untruth and I feed my toddler ice cream, cake, and candy bars for breakfast." I didn't know my face was so treacherous and dastardly. No wonder I've hardly ever been able to get away with lies, from minor exaggerations to outright falsehoods! As this revelation sunk in, I remembered telling a former boss a semi-truth that I thought was pretty plausible, and her basically calling me a liar to my face. I was furious at the time, but upon learning that my face amplifies every little feeling of guilt or sneakiness, I can't blame her!

I've always known I had a hard time pulling off lies and half-truths, so I've tried to keep them to a minimum. I do try to live a life that's pleasing to God, but there have been times it would have been really convenient to lie, and I probably would have despite my convictions that lying is a sin, but I didn't, because I knew I probably couldn't get away with it. As a result, I am more in the habit of being honest than if I had been more capable of deceit, so it's a blessing in disguise. It's also a real pain in the butt.